She Would Want You To
by lesbianingsince99
Summary: Regina has left Henry an Emma to another life. Emma realizes she had feelings for Regina when it was too late while Henry is battling his demons that had arrived after his mother's passing. Everything changes when Emma and Henry run into Dr. Eva Zambrano, a woman who is just like Regina all the way down to her lip scar.
1. Out of the Hospital

**A/N: Welcome! Thank you for clicking on my story and I hope you enjoy it. This story was a prompt from mayhemprincess on tumblr. **

**Updates will be slow for this story considering I am working on two other fics at the same time while also writing short prompts sent to me when I need a break. **

**Song for this fic: Ellie Goulding- Dead in the Water**

**Trigger Warning: Suicidal character that attempts suicidal things, do not read if this is a trigger.**

* * *

This was Henry's second time in the hospital from attempted suicide. This time he tried hanging himself, luckily Emma walked into the room only seconds after he jumped off the stool. It takes someone 10 minutes to die of a hanging if their neck doesn't break, luckily his didn't.

The first time it was an overdose. You only have a fifteen percent chance of dying with a medication overdose. Henry got the eighty-five percent chance of living.

The guilt never left him. The guilt of thinking he murdered his mother, his adopted mother. He never seized to realize, it doesn't matter whether she was his adopted mother or not, _she was his mother. _Just because Emma gave birth to him didn't make her his mother. He should have been happy for the wonderful mother and life he had already been given.

These were the thoughts that haunted his mind.

It was five-thirty PM, visiting hours in the Storybrooke Psychiatric Hospital started now, but he wasn't getting a visit, he was discharging. He had spent two weeks in the hospital before they allowed him to leave. He earned the extra time in addition to his 5150 after he tried swallowing antiperspirant hoping it would kill him, which only made him sick, and refusing to eat due to his depression killing his appetite.

"Henry, Emma is here to take you home." The nurse called into his room. Henry pulled himself out of the bed in which he rested in to meet his birth mother in the white hall.

"Hey, H!" Emma exclaimed in excitement of seeing her son. She bopped him on the nose with her slender finger. "I got a big ol' cinnamon roll in the car with your name on it!"

Henry just grunted mopily as they walked out of the hospital together. Emma had been trying her hardest to cheer up Henry, though she was suffering herself, she had to stay strong for Henry's sake.

It was a shame that it took Regina's death for Emma to realize her feelings for Regina. When she saw the woman she had grown to care deeply for lifeless against that tree, she didn't know what to do. She felt like she had lost everything. She felt like she wouldn't be able to ever recover. She felt she would never be able to love again.

* * *

_Regina held back Henry from running into the well. "Mom! Stop it! You're gonna kill them! Please!" Henry cried. "No! They're going to make it through! You have to turn it off!" He struggled in Regina's arms. "You're gonna kill them!" He repeated as he escaped her grip and bolted for the well._

"_Henry!" Regina cried while she ran after him, pulling him back just before he could plunge himself into the pit. She pulled him aside, arms still holding onto him. "What are you doing?"_

"_Emma and Mary Margaret are going to come through, I know it. You said you wanted to change, to be better. This is how. You want me to have faith in you? Have faith in me."_

_Regina let go of her son to face the well. _

"_Regina." Mr. Gold protested._

_Regina just ignored his call. She stood looking towards the well while trying to hold the tears back. Regina assumed Henry knew the cost of turning off the spinning green electricity inside the well. Her life is what it would take to redeem herself._

_She slowly raised her hands over the neon green light, it struck her. She could at least die as Regina. She could die a hero, not a villain._

_Regina's body was flung back onto a nearby tree in the forest. Her breath muted. Her lifeless body rested on top of roots sticking up from the ground._

"_Mom…?" Unlike Regina thought, Henry did not know the price of stopping the death trap. Henry did not know that this would kill his mother. She had not used magic to stop the electric pool, she merely had it take her life instead. _

_Henry rushed over to his adopted mother's side to shake her. "Mom, are you okay?" Henry shook her shoulder a second time. _

"_She's gone Henry." Mr. Gold spoke as he approached the boy from behind. _

"_No, I didn't know this would happen! I didn't want her to die!" Henry's lip trembled as tears filled his eyes. _

_Mr. Gold stood silently as he watched Henry weep. Emma and Mary Margaret soon arose from the well to find Henry balling over his mother's breathless corpse. Emma stepped back. What had happened? _

"_Regina!" Emma yelled before running over to kneel besides Regina's dead body. "Henry, what happened?" _

"_She- She sacrificed her-herself." Henry said in between sobs._

_It felt like Emma's heart had shattered into a million pieces. She was gone. A tight knot formed in Emma's throat. She couldn't believe it. The woman she had finally learned to get along with was gone. _

_The worst part of all, Emma realized she was in love with her._

_Before she knew it, Emma was in tears over the older woman's body. Hot droplets landed on her red leather jacket. She bent down to place a kiss on Regina's soft, dead lips. Nothing. She tried again. Nothing._

"_Emma, that only works with a curse. I'm so sorry." Snow White hugged her daughter as her tears spilled over Regina's body. _

_And all three of them sat there mourning over their loss until night spread across the town._

* * *

Henry walked into the apartment to see boxes laid out in front of the door. Snow and David had already moved out, so he jumped to one conclusion; they were moving. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"We're moving." Emma explained.

"What? Why?"

Emma sighed. "I don't think this town is good for you, bud. She's written all over this town. There's no way you'll recover here."

"What do you know? Maybe I don't want to move?" Henry muttered just loud enough for Emma to hear.

Emma didn't understand why Henry was acting the way he was, she had followed the instructions of all the psychiatrists that they've seen. Nothing seemed to be working. She knew that he wouldn't get better overnight but it would be nice to see some progression in his attitude.

"Sorry, Henry. It's what's best for you according to Archie." She ruffled her hand through his soft hair.

"What does Archie know? He's not me. I don't want to move. You can't make me." Henry protested.

"We're moving to Miami, I thought you would like it there." Emma reached for one of the boxes.

"Miami? Why there?"

"It's nice and warm there. Here it's always cloudy dreary all the time." She lifted the box atop her shoulder.

"What do you expect? It's Maine." Henry shrugged.

"Exactly, you need a change of scenery." Emma said as she walked past him to walk down the hall. "You gonna help or not?"

"I told you, I'm not moving." Henry's curiosity turned back into rage and defiance.

Emma stopped to turn and set down the large moving box. "Look, Henry, I know you're upset, but I need to get you better bud."

"I can get better here." Henry pointed to the ground as he spoke. "This is my home, this is your home. We can't just leave because I'm going through a rough time."

Emma walked up to the boy, crouching to meet his gaze, she spoke softly, "If it was me who died back there, Regina would have done the same thing. She would have wanted this for you."

Henry's eyes started to tear up as his face turned red with rage. How dare she pretend she knew what his mother would want. How dare she say something so insensitively. How dare she.

He opened his mouth to speak, only to choke on his words. He was finally able to mutter something, something he probably shouldn't have said. "I wish I never found you in Boston."

"Why would you say that?" Emma quaked.

"Because you're the reason she died, she died for you." Tears were pouring rapidly out of his eyes. Images of his mother flooded through his mind, thoughts of the laughs they had spent together, the good memories, not the bad ones. "I wish you died instead of her." Henry was full of raging emotions, he felt like he would explode if he didn't say something awful to her.

Henry ran out of the doorway and down the stairs of the apartment building. Emma chased after him, only to find he had disappeared into the streets.

"Dammit, not again." Emma cursed to herself. This had been the third time Henry had run off because she had triggered him. She should have learned it by now, don't mention Regina around Henry.

Emma stepped out onto the street, there were few cars so she just walked through the middle of the street by herself, scanning the area for Henry.

It had been only month since Regina's passing, Emma cried every night after Henry was surely asleep. God, Emma missed her. Henry was right, if he had never found her Regina would still be alive.

* * *

Henry panted as he ran down the block with uncontrollable tears running down his face. Though Emma did set him off, he had to admit that the rest of what he said was unnecessary and must have really hurt Emma. He thought about turning back and apologizing, but he couldn't, he was too upset not to say anything worse. He just kept running.

He kept running until he calmed down and reached Granny's Diner. The bell chimed as he walked in. He dragged his feet to one of the stools. He sat down and rest his head against his hand while his elbow leaned on the counter.

Ruby noticed the tear streaks on the boy's face and stepped over to speak with him. "Hey, Henry. Everything alright?" Ruby asked as she leaned over the counter.

Henry shook his head.

"You wanna talk about it?"  
"Nah." Henry mumbled.

"Do you want to eat out your feelings? It'll be on the house." She suggested.

Henry nodded.

"Great. What'll you have?" Ruby pulled a notepad and pen from her apron, ready to take his order.

"Ice cream sundae, extra everything. Please."

"You got it!" Ruby quickly wrote down his order then left to get his sundae ready.

The bell chimed, signalling someone had entered the diner.

It was Emma.

"Henry! Should have known I would find you here." Emma exclaimed.

Henry turned to look at Emma when she spoke, but when she approached him, he turned back to face the counter. Emma sat in the stool next to him. "Hey," Emma comforted as she rubbed his back, Henry hunched over uncomfortably and Emma stopped, "I'm sorry what I said back there. You're right, it is my fault that your mom died and you have every reason to hate me for it." Emma eyes started to swell up in tears.

Henry sighed. "It's not your fault. It's mine. Sometimes I like to blame you though, to make myself feel better." Henry said sadly.

"Henry, it's not your fault. Destiny was just played it's fucked up game." Emma hardly ever swore around Henry, but sometimes she made exceptions.

Henry smiled. "I like it when you swear."

Emma smiled back her famous, golden retriever smile. They sat there until Ruby came with Henry's ice cream sundae. Then left to go back to the house. Henry had seemed happier after that scenario, maybe he just needed to get it out all of that raging emotion bottled up from the hospital.

"How do you feel about moving now?" Emma asked as they sat on the couch surrounded by boxes.

"I don't know, but I think you're right." Henry decided. "She would want me to leave, if it's best for me."

"So should we start loading up boxes?" Emma inquired.

Henry gave a small smile. "Sure."


	2. Razor Danger

**A/N: Whew! Okay, sorry for the long wait, I kept telling myself I would update this fic before too much time passes, but then I had to work on other fics that I wanted to complete before publishing, then I got writer's block for two weeks, but here I am! Back with another chapter! Again, sorry for the long wait.  
**

**Also, self harm trigger warning, if this can trigger you or is a sensitive subject for you, I beg you not to read.**

* * *

Henry had been doing better the past two days. It took him a few hours to adjust being back home but he settled quickly.

Today they had flown from Storybrooke to Florida, Emma's yellow bug would take another day to catch up to them, so they had to take a cab to their new home.

Henry would be attending a new school, Emma would start training to be a police officer (she was quite fond of being sheriff in Storybrooke), and their whole lives would be remade.

Henry practically jumped out of the cab. "I call dibs on the master bedroom!" He exclaimed before dashing off to the locked gate where he bounced up and down, waiting for Emma to unlock it.

"Not if I can get to it first." Emma challenged as she ran after him to unlock the gate. She gave Henry his own key to the apartment door, but his mom only had one key to unlock the gate. "Ready," she began as she inserted the key into the keyhole of the gate, "go!" She flung the gate open and they both making loud footsteps as they raced up the stairs obnoxiously.

Emma was the first to get to the apartment door, Henry close behind her, waiting as she shakily tried to put the key in the hole. When she finally got the door open, Emma was the first to run into the nicely sized home. She paused to look around for the master bedroom, once spotted, she bolted into the room, defeating Henry.

"Aw, no fair!" Henry pouted.

"Yes fair." Emma retorted as she bopped him on the nose.

"Fine. I guess you deserve it from all the trouble I put you through."

Emma's body immediately stiffened. "Henry, you know I don't mind your mental health, right?" A worried look sprang across her face. "Don't ever think you are a burden to me."

Henry just smiled and turned to the exit of the apartment and retrieve his bags.

* * *

It was later that day in which Emma decided Henry and her needed to do something exciting their first day in Miami. Ideas erupted in her mind. They could go to the zoo or got to the beach, maybe go to see the Marlins game that was going on later that night. Their budget was short, now that they had just moved. Maybe the beach was the best idea. There, today they would go to the beach.

Emm walked into Henry's room as he organized his bags and boxes to make him room possible to live in. "Hey, Henry." Henry turned to make eye contact. "You want to go to the beach today?"

A worried look came across Henry's face. "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."

Emma's eyebrows sank to the center of her face. "Why? What's going on?"

"I'm, uh, uncomfortable in swimsuits." He lied.

Emma laughed. "No, come on, really, why don't you want to go to the beach?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out, okay?"

Emma paused for a second, she had absolutely no idea what had happened, what he might have done. She would have to stay calm so that he didn't feel betrayed. She nodded her head slowly. "Okay, what's going on bud?"

Henry lifted his sleeve to show fresh cuts, they weren't very deep, but they were alarming, and there were _so many_. They went from the start of his wrist all the way up to his shoulder. It looked like he had done them today, but when? She was with him all day.

Emma approached her son to grab ahold of his wrist, horror struck over her face as she examined the small slits that covered his entire arm. "Henry, I…" She didn't know what to say without "freaking out". Tears started to flood her eyes as she tried to find the words to say. "Henry, please, don't make this a habit."

Henry nodded. A pang of guilt shot through his stomach. _I shouldn't have shown her. _He thought to himself. He was now afraid that Emma would be mad, or worse, send him to the hospital again.

"What did you do these with?" She tried to keep her voice steady and calm, but the knot in her throat made her want to burst into tears.

Henry reached into his back pocket of his pants to pull out a small razor blade that he held out in his palm.

Emma took the razor blade into her hand, looking at it she asked, "Henry, where did you get this?"

"Out of my pencil sharpener." He confessed.

He had been looking for a way to hurt himself, he tried knives, but they were too dull and all they left were white scratches. He finally turned to the internet to look for ways to cut himself. He found that pencil sharpener blades were the best solution.

"Okay." She shook the tears from her eyes as she closed her palm with the razor in it and shoved the razor blade into the pocket of her red leather jacket. Emma tried to smile. "What made you want you do this, bud?"

"I just needed to feel something else." He shrugged.

"You know I have to tell your new therapist this, right?" She made sure he understood with pain in her eyes.

"Yes." Henry nodded shamefully.

"Hey, we're going to get through this. You and me, buddy, we're going to be alright, especially you. I won't let you be miserable forever, Henry." She promised, putting a hand on Henry's shoulder and giving it a small squeeze.

Henry gave a small, but slightly shameful smile. "Thanks."

"Now, how about we go to the zoo?" Emma's face changed from horror struck to a light, playful smile.

Henry was relieved his mother didn't take him to the ER to be sent back to the hospital. He didn't plan on hurting himself, he just did without thinking. He promised himself he wouldn't harm himself like that again for the sake of Emma, but he liked it. He liked the way the razor felt slicing his skin. This might be harder than he thought.

"Okay." He agreed as he pulled down his sleeve.

Emma lead him out of the room to their door, off to an adventure at the zoo.

* * *

Emma awoke from her slumber. Her digital alarm clock read two-thirty. Sitting up from her bed, tears started to fill her eyes and trickle down her cheeks. Before she knew it she was choking on a sob.

In her sleep she dreamed of Regina, all the small moments they had spent together. All of them, even when they couldn't control themselves from strangling each other. Her favorite moment was when Henry and Archie were caught in the mines and she was about to go down the shaft to retrieve them. That was when Emma swore that Regina was going to kiss her, she leaned in close to her as she said, "Just bring him to me," looked down at Emma's lip, and Emma just backed away. She shouldn't have backed away, they could have been something, at least she would have some wonderful memories of the deceased woman if she would've just kissed her.

Then her dreams drifted to the three of them, Emma, Regina, and Henry. They would have made such a beautiful family. If Emma could go back in time, she would confess her feelings to the lovely brunette and make sure she never let go of her. She would have made sure Henry would have never open that bottle of medicine, never tied that noose, never unscrewed the screw in his pencil sharpener.

Emma just sat there, tears streaming down her face, choking on sobs. She pulled her pillow up to her face to muffle her cries so she didn't wake up Henry.

"Okay, calm down." She whispered to herself. "You've cried too much, it's time to get over her." She took in deep breaths, trying to make the tears stop.

And in the darkness she slept and wept until sleep found her again.

* * *

Emma awoke the next morning, the dreams of her deceased schoolgirl crush made peace with her for the rest of the night. She forced a smile on her face when she looked out the window to see the palm trees drape in front of her view.

She swung her legs over the mattress of her bed and scratched the back of her neck before stretching her arms out with a yawn. She stood up to walk into to the kitchen and begin her new day.

Henry was sitting at the new kitchen table that they installed before they moved in. In front of him was a bowl of cereal with a spoon resting on the edge of the bowl. He was in a T-shirt that made his cuts visible which caused the blonde's heart throb in pain. "Glad to know you're finally awake." He said jokingly with a grin.

"Why? What time is it?" She yawned.

"Ten-thirty." He answered.

Emma turned to look at the clock above the stove to see he was right, the clock read ten-thirty-two. "Wow, I guess I really did sleep in." She said wide eyed.

"Yep, what are we doing today?" Henry tilted his head to the right as he wondered.

"I thought we would go shopping."

"Ew." Henry replied, scrunching his face.

"TV shopping." She added with a smirk.

Henry's face brightened at the thought of getting a TV working so he could play his PS3 for the first time since the hospital.

"But I'm on a tight budget so no big, expensive flat screens, alright?"

"I just want to play DC Universe." He responded through the chewing of his cereal.

Emma gave him a smile. "Alright I'm going to get ready, you should too." She ran her hand through his brown hair playfully.

"Alright."

* * *

It was that night in which Emma had needed to use the bathroom and on her way there she heard sniffling from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Henry?" She knocked on the door, her voice hushed. "Henry?" She knocked again, but this time louder. "Henry!" She was trying not to scream, but now she was paranoid.

The door swung open to show Henry with tear stained cheeks. She looked down to see him holding his slashed wrist. "My- my hand- my slipped." He choked out. "And now- now it- now it won't stop."

Emma cupped her hands around her mouth as she stared at her wounded son. She grabbed a towel from behind him and set it on top of his wrist. "Keep pressure on it. We're going to the emergency room."

Emma sprinted to the door. "Come on!" She panicked.

"I'm feeling dizzy." Henry said. He stumbled towards the door.

"Fuck!" Emma swore as she ran over to pick up and carry Henry in both arms out of the door. She ran down the steps and through the gate. "Taxi!" She screamed with tears starting to swell in her eyes. "Taxi!" She screamed even louder.

A yellow cab pulled up almost instantly. "Jesus, lady-" He was cut off by noticing the limp body in her arms and the tears starting to fall down her eyes. "Get in." He ordered.

Emma slid into the back of the Taxi. "It's going to be okay, Henry." She said through each sob. "It gonna be okay."

The man was obviously speeding through the streets. "I'm going to take you to the nearest hospital, ma'am." Said the cab driver.

"Thank you." Emma replied.

The nearest hospital was luckily quite close to their apartment, the cab driver skidded into a parking spot before Emma almost sprinted out of the cab and into the ER. Emma tried not to scream at the woman who had occupied the desk. "He cut himself and his hand slipped is what he said. Now he's out cold."

The woman at the desk didn't even say anything, she just picked up the phone to call in a gurney.

In almost a minute a group of doctors and nurses bursted through the doors behind the desk. A woman took Henry from her arms to place him on the gurney. While the rest of the medical team left to take him wherever they were taking him, a woman approached Emma, a woman who Emma could have sworn was Regina.


End file.
